My debut novel, The Rose of Ravenna, is in the publishing process, set to hit bookstore shelves in 2026.
And wow, does it feels out of this world to be able to say those words.
I have always wanted to be an author, so I knew one day, this day would come. But that still doesn’t make the reality of it any less unreal to me. And while all I want in this world is to have someone, anyone, read my novels and enjoy them, I cannot help but absolutely cringe at the thought of someone I know reading my novel.
Strangers? Yes! Friends? Hell no.
My novel, while I feel is very true to me and who I am as a creative person, may not seem that way to many people who know me personally. Seems odd to say, but it’s something I’ve been feeling (maybe even struggling with) as the publishing process has become more real. It is almost as if I am nervous (read: afraid) of what people will think, not of my novel, but of me, after they read it.
Let me try to explain:
My novel explores dark themes. I mean, it is the retelling of a very tragic love affair that ended in murder. That is no secret – it’s a historical fiction; anyone could google Francesca da Rimini and Paolo Malatesta and learn, nearly immediately, of their infamous death. But it goes beyond the graphic nature of their murder, unpacking the tragedy of not only their lives leading up to their death, but of the tragedy of the lives of those around them. This means there is abuse (of many kinds), violence (a decent amount), coarse language (bilingually at that), and even suicidal ideations.
Now, let me be clear: I am very proud of what I wrote, violence and all. And while I by no means condone the violence in the novel, I chose to have it in my novel purposefully. I set out to write a historical fiction that was true to the story and time it is set in, and that was, factually, a very violent part of Italy’s history. And I want the world to read it! I truly do! But the idea of someone who knows me personally, not as an author, but as a friend, teammate, yoga teacher, or as a lawyer, is what scares me. Because how I write will be the most true and authentic version of myself, ever.
I have to write a certain way for my profession as a lawyer. I have to teach of love and positivity on the mat. I have to be a supportive, fun-loving friend.
But in my novels, I can write however I want. And I have learned I have no desire to tell a “happily ever after story”. When I write, and I mean truly write, I can be whoever I want. And who I want to be is an author who explores the realities of women’s lives in various parts of Italy’s history and folklore. Who writes of violence between powerful men. Who writes of addictions and dark thoughts. Who writes of hubris and human downfall.
I am not a dark person outwardly, per se. Nor all that much inwardly. Though, I enjoy history, immensely, and have always gravitated to history, mythology and folklore that is on the darker side. I enjoy fiction that explores these stories and themes, and while I enjoy all music, (like I LOVE ABBA) I gravitate towards darker, sadder music (like I LOVE Hozier). I know many people would agree with this inner and outer battle. But, for many people, I may not come across as such a person. I’m often called bubbly, fun, energetic. And I am those things, yes, but I feel not to the extent many people may think. My closest family and friends, well, they can attest to who I truly am. But it is not them I worry about when reading the content of my novel, nor is it strangers. It’s those who are somewhere in the middle, teetering past acquaintance, but not who I bare my soul to.
And for whatever reason, I am worried of what those exact people will think of me when they read my works (that’s to say the ever do). Will my childhood friend think I feel violence is ok? Will my co-worker think less of my niceties? Will my yoga students stop wanting to come to my class?
Perhaps this is an unfounded thing to think, but alas, it is all that is going through my head.
I recently voiced this concern to a friend of mine. Her response was this: “but isn’t that true for so many artists? It goes to the dark parts of their souls.” Her words rang so true to me, and what I feel like is the (soon-to-be) baring of my soul to the public. (I’m a scorpio if that helps understand this at all. And if not, that’s ok – just look up personality of a scorpio)
It’s not Veronica the lawyer writing. Veronica the yoga teacher. Veronica the teammate, or friend from back in school, or co-worker, or whatever else. It will be Veronica the author.
That is all I want to do with my life. All I want to be. And so, I’m finally doing it. But boy, is it scary.
Veronica Guido 
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